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before | after

Title:     Dear Byakuya ~ Dear Renji
Pairing: Renji x Bya ~ Bya x Renji
Authors: the*gogos, aka gogochan & gogodgene
Rating:  PG -13
Warnings:  Some implied yaoi, poetically implied sex, some quality over-intellectualizing on Byakuya's part (lol, Proust), and some tongue-in-cheek writing on behalf of the authors. No spoilers, no specific time line.
Renji wrote Byakuya a Valentine, back...you know...around Valentine's Day. Months later, Byakuya finally gets it in gear to answer...


Feb, 14 (Valentines Day)

Dear Byakuya,

Hi. We haven't seen each other in a while, and I really miss you. I miss the way you walk, the way you stand, the way you flip your hair over one shoulder as you're turning to leave. I miss seeing your eyebrows crinkle when you're annoyed. And I miss the ways your eyes turn kinda silver when you're happy. I miss hearing you talk about "noble reasoning." I miss hearing your voice. I miss hearing you breathe. I miss how peaceful you look in your sleep.

I miss seeing you. I miss you. Life's boring knowing that you're not there at the end of the day.

And I'm sorry if I seem too attention-needy. It's just because I like you a lot. Love you, if that doesn't seem too weird. I wish I could hug more often and kiss you, but I don't wanna step over your boundaries unless you want me to. You're a picky person, but I'm cool with that. I got lotsa of patience (well, most days, anyway). And I'm willing to do anything for you.

I just really, really wanna see you again.

Missing you like flowers miss rain,


P.S. I know you're really into poetry and all that shit. I tried, but the bit about "flowers and the rain" was the best I could do. I'm more of a "tell it like it is" than a "pretty words" kinda guy, anyway. Just focus on what it means, not the way it sounds, okay?


June, 1

Dearest Renji,

First of all, allow me to extend my deepest apologies for leaving you stranded, alone, with your feelings for so very long. Conveying anything of this nature is most difficult for me, as I am quite sure you've come to understand. And if not understand, then...expect. At this juncture, all I can ask is that you accept my honest attempt at apology--as artless and dry as it may be. Henceforth, whatever I write, whatever I say, shall be forever humbled by your earnest and unabashed expressions of love.

I hardly deserve such warmth and consideration. I certainly do not deserve your love, Renji. Nor do I deserve you.

There are those who claim that I, as the Kuchiki heir, have everything. Such a statement is both farce and folly. No man has ever, or will ever, possess everything. Such a concept is absurd. Given the very limited imagination of these...envious cravens...one can only imagine their dumbfounded reactions were they to hear my proclamation--my desire--to freely, eagerly, forgo every luxury known to the great Kuchiki empire in exchange for the ability to speak as you do, feel as you do, love as you do...

Always open. Always honest. Always from the heart.

But never in fear.

There is nothing I wouldn't give, nothing I wouldn't go without, to attain the priceless gift of self-expression. Nothing...except the rarefied pleasure of your company.

I made every attempt to quail your burgeoning ardor and ward off every onslaught of affection. I subjected you to months of compulsive reticence and hid behind the pain and isolation of my past. Worst of all, I turned the memory of my beloved wife into weaponry, wielding "That which was" as my sword, and "That which can never be" as my shield.

I regret this more than you will ever know.

While I have never been the type to employ cliches, there is one among many that seems to ring true. "Absence makes the heart grow fonder." A bittersweet colloquialism, to be sure. I can well attest to its veracity through the longing that emerged in the wake of Hisana's death...as well as the feelings for you that began to flourish once you'd been successfully exiled from my presence.

I do care for you, Renji, though it is more than that; much more. Once again, my cautious and cerebral nature has intervened, to where my words do neither of us any justice. Just as your absence was required for my bewildering emotions to become clarion, so it seems that only in the land of Morpheus could they finally be understood as love. How ironic to find true clarity within the chaotic and nebulous world of dreams. How ironic, and, yet, how fitting. My subconscious reveled in what my waking mind could or would not see. I blame Proust...though really I should be thanking him. Were it not for his iconic tome, I might not have taken pains to record the vision which came to me in that tenuous state between cognizance and sleep. A vision of fire and water; two opposing elements joining to become one. A vision of you and I.

Dearest Renji... More than once have you opened your heart, risking certain disappointment. But hope kept you buoyant; kept you strong. I could see it in your eyes, hear it in your words, feel it in the urgency of your touch. And now, I shall borrow some of that hope for myself. In lieu of opening my heart, I offer to open my mind, and share with you that which I hid even from myself.

A vision. A dream.

Take it for what it is, Renji. Desire. Longing. Lust. And love. For you, and you alone.

"...So his lover intended to tease him. Well, not so much tease as take his sweet time, allowing the current of raw desire to pull and crest like the incoming tide, swelling with each whispered word, each searing kiss, each heated caress, until the waves of longing became a harsh sea of need. Only then, when surge after surge of mutual passion threatened to pull them both under, would the firebrand deign to fully consummate their ardor; a plunging a lick of flame deep into that dark tempest, forging their flesh to sink or swim together in the churning sea of lust.

As one, they are buoyant again, floating weightless on mere whisps of foam, borne aloft on each new wave of pleasure, dipping into shallow pools of exquisite warmth, only to soar ever higher, until... Until. The lovers ride one last, perfect powerful swell high into the sky, rising beyond the clouds into the realm of sheer bliss. There is a moment where time is frozen, where all is still, all is silent, and there is nothing, save the two glowing lovers, opposite in nature, yet focused on naught but each other, moving together, in synchrony, as one body, one breath. For one indelible moment, they are immortal, transcendent...a universe unto themselves.

Then, a final gasp pierces the air, and the horizon explodes; the white heat blinding their eyes and burning from within. The great wave breaks beneath them, and they are falling, hurled from intangible heights into a deep, orgasmic abyss. They submerge, but do not drown. Instead, the lovers bathe in liquid pleasure, suspended and sustained; the relentless pounding of the surf sending ripples of ecstasy to course through their quivering flesh. They emerge as one--connected by mind as much as body--gasping softly against each other's salt-slicked skin, drifting in unison, lulled by the lapping, soothing current. Eventually, they reach the shore; the solid certainty of terra firma prompting them to disengage, until they are once again two bodies, two beings.

Divided by reason, bound by fate. Apart, yet always together."

After this, I can say no more. I am, like Proust, a la recherche du temps perdu. Yet now, I must wait. And wait I shall, with baited breath, for your response.




June, 2


You know you don't have to apologize. I'm used to your weird habits by now. Not that you're weird. And your habits aren't weird either. Maybe I shoulda' said something different... You know how bad I am with, um, whaddyacallthem... words that are like other words.

Anyway, I know you love me, too. You may be all secretive and stuff, but I know how to read you by now. And I pride myself on that.

Also, I have no idea who Proust is, and I don't fully understand that long...thing you wrote. Was that really a dream? About me? It sounded really nice. Kinda sexy, too.

Soooo...uh, I love you, too?

And... Can I come over tonight?




June, 2


...Must you even ask?

I have already seen to the requisite arrangements, and will expect you promptly at 9:00 pm. The garden gate will be unlocked, as usual.

Do not be late. Do not keep me waiting...

Yours always,



( 32 got lapdances — stick some $$$ in our g-strings )
Jun. 27th, 2008 10:05 am (UTC)

I love the excerpt. I was taken away 9or something) by byaluya's reply to Renji's second letter, but the Renji-Proust thing made me LOL.

It was a little melancholic at the beginning then growing warmer and warmer.... But then the end turned ice-cold!

*imagines ending*
Jun. 27th, 2008 10:31 am (UTC)
lol! End turned ice cold?? It's a happy ending~ (of sorts) Seriously, Renji (gogodgene) did write Bya that nice first letter for Valentine's day. And it seriously did take Bya (gogo) months to get it in gear to reply. Bya and gogo are so emotionally stunted. And we are both total fail at writing fluff. See? This was supposed to be sweet and fluffy. Leave it to the both of us to channel fucking Proust...

In the end, it is what it is, and hence why it's written and should be read a la tongue-in-cheek.

Anyhoo... Thank you so much for reading and commenting!! This is definitely a bit different than our usual co-writes, and the comment is very, very much appreciated. <3
(no subject) - gogodgene - Jun. 27th, 2008 07:50 pm (UTC) - Expand
Jun. 27th, 2008 10:09 am (UTC)
I liked it ^^
But when Renji in his first letter was mostly talking about Byakuya, in his answer the noble was mostly talking about himself ! ^^ That's not a problem at all, but it strucked me...

Anyway, thank you for that ^^
Jun. 27th, 2008 10:14 am (UTC)
in his answer the noble was mostly talking about himself!

YES HE WAS, the self-centered brat! Indeed, the great and noble Kuchiki talked more of himself than his lover... Bya-hime has a looooong way to go before he is able to communicate with Renji's candor, ne?

Anyhoo, thank you so much for reading. Do keep in mind that this was written very tongue-in-cheek. <3
(no subject) - gogodgene - Jun. 27th, 2008 07:51 pm (UTC) - Expand
Jun. 27th, 2008 10:40 am (UTC)
Oh my god, Byakuya's first letter was so epic and Renji's response was so...proletarian, in the best of ways. Good stuff!
Jun. 27th, 2008 07:34 pm (UTC)
Why thank you! That's exactly what we were going for! The read and the comment is much appreciated. Very glad you enjoyed. xoxo
(no subject) - gogodgene - Jun. 27th, 2008 07:55 pm (UTC) - Expand
Jun. 27th, 2008 11:24 am (UTC)
I squeed through this whole thing. It's awesome to read your Bya/Ren, you'll always be the masters of Bya/Ren in my mind. Seriously, I won't even attempt to write it any more. XD

I really love how Renji lists all the seemingly little things about Bya that he misses - that was so incredibly sweet and touching and... alkdjfkdj *melts*

And Bya's response (what I could understand of it XD) was amazing. His intelligence and depth practically grabs you through the screen, as does his emotion and obvious care for Renji.

...as I read this I kept wondering what the actual letters would look like. I like handwriting, I guess? It'd be interesting to see the differences in their writing style, what kind of paper they used, etc.
Jun. 27th, 2008 08:23 pm (UTC)

Yay for squeeing! What better compliment could there be than that? First time writing (or at least posting) Bya in first person, so am glad people seem to think he's in character.

Thank you for the good words about Bya's response. Gogo's Bya tends to be reading whatever gogo is reading at the time, and Proust just sorta worked with the whole dream sequence thingie. lol. And he does love and care for Renji! So much! It's just so damn hard for him to come out and say it plainly.

As for what their letters look like? Am sure Bya's are beautiful... Renji's? lol. His writing probably looks more like gogo's does in real life. (gogo's hand writing is atrocious!) Anyhoo, thanks again for the read and comment. So very glad you enjoyed. <3
Jun. 27th, 2008 11:40 am (UTC)
this is beautiful, yet so cute!
especially the P.S renjji put in the first letter,and their second letter is so sweet...
Jun. 27th, 2008 07:56 pm (UTC)

Well, Bya was as fluffy as he is going to get, but Renji and I appreciate it at the same.

Thanks for reading!
(no subject) - gogo_ergo_sum - Jun. 27th, 2008 09:19 pm (UTC) - Expand
Jun. 27th, 2008 03:32 pm (UTC)
great fic. loved it. it was really KAWAIIIIIII.
Jun. 27th, 2008 07:57 pm (UTC)
Thanks for commenting and GLAD U RIKED IT

Edited at 2008-06-27 08:02 pm (UTC)
(no subject) - gogo_ergo_sum - Jun. 28th, 2008 11:06 am (UTC) - Expand
Jun. 27th, 2008 04:51 pm (UTC)
.. LOL. XDD Renji's letters are highly amusing! Maybe I shoulda' said something different... You know how bad I am with, um, whaddyacallthem... words that are like other words. Haha, that is classic. XD

And Byakuya.. perfectly characterized! :D It's rather hilarious, also, that he wraps up his feelings in all those words & takes so much care in what he wrote.. and then it goes completely over Renji's head. HAHA. [Poor Bya. ;) ]

Wonderful job on all of these!
Jun. 27th, 2008 07:57 pm (UTC)
Thank you so much for your thoughtful (as always) comment. Gogod's Renji is always such a lovable and sweet character. He is charming, whereas Bya gets all up in his head (as you said, wrapping his feelings up in all those WORDS).

You nailed it! Renji is sweet and loving and frank, and in trying to express himself, Bya just makes it all soooo complicated. But thank you very very much for reading and for the lovely comment. Am glad you saw Bya's introspection about love and expression as in-character. Was gogo's first time writing him in first person, so...yeah... *grins* Wasn't quite sure how this little back and forth was going to be received.

Above all, glad you found parts of this to be hilarious. (So did we!)
(no subject) - gogodgene - Jun. 27th, 2008 08:04 pm (UTC) - Expand
Jun. 27th, 2008 07:16 pm (UTC)
*giggles* God I love Renji and Bya
Jun. 27th, 2008 07:38 pm (UTC)
THNX! They, uh...love you too?? Anyway, thanks very much for the read and the comment. Hope you enjoyed. gogod's Renji is the sweetest ever. Poor Renji (gogod) really did have to wait months for a reply from Bya (gogo). We are muchly fail at anything that remotely seems like luff or fluff or anything like that. xoxo
Jun. 27th, 2008 09:51 pm (UTC)
Ren's attempt was actually almost too good, Bya's reply was... just SO Bya-hime, then Ren's reply was very Ren, making me laugh with Proust thing, partly 'cuz I'm with Renji that I don't know who it is, then Bya made me grin evilly with the 9 o'clock promptly XD

And I love your Bya icon going control control control control LOL

Edited at 2008-06-27 09:52 pm (UTC)
Jun. 28th, 2008 12:44 am (UTC)
THANK YOU! You are so correct. Bya-hime in love is still...control freak Kuchiki taichou. Surely he does not like when Renji keeps him waiting! Anyway, thank you so very much for the read and the comment. Glad you enjoyed, and so very happy that it made you grin evilly~

Thank you for the compliments on that "control" icon. gogodgene made it for gogo this week. It's gogo's new favorite~
(Deleted comment)
Jun. 28th, 2008 10:56 am (UTC)
YAAAAAAAAY! <333 So glad you enjoyed this! And ROCK THE FUCK ON that we made you laugh! Hell yeah! Well, actually, rock the fuck on that gogod made you laugh. Gogod's Renji is SO GREAT!! And it was exactly (more or less) a year ago that we started making BIG PLANS for Bya and Ren, many of which have yet to come to fruition. But they will! ;)

Thnx for the read and the comment. This was really kinda different for us (writing in first person and all), and hadn't even planned to post it until gogo was like "why the hell not?", so comments are muchly, muchly appreciated!
Jun. 28th, 2008 10:45 am (UTC)
i don't have enough moola to stuff into your g-strings, and if i did, your strings would snap!!

Bliss - carried away by Byakuya into a rose-scented and giddy eternity *swoon*
Rolling - on the ground (because of Renji) with a side-splitting bellyache!!

"Kinda sexy, too.

Soooo...uh, I love you, too?

And... Can I come over tonight?"

He is the cutest thing and so forward =) Where would Byakuya be without Renji hee, still stuck in his frigid closet, wringing his hands thinking about what to say, what to say =) This was AMAZING!! =) =)
Jun. 28th, 2008 11:02 pm (UTC)
Awww, thank you! Thank you so very much! You are absolutely right--without Renji, Bya would certainly be stuck in his frigid closet, wringing his hands and so on. As it is, it's still hard for him to figure out what to say. When gogo writes him, he either says too much, or too little!

Anyway, thank you for reading and commenting! So glad you enjoyed it and that these "letters" gave you a laugh~
Jun. 29th, 2008 02:03 am (UTC)
Byakuya's first letter GOT ME HARD. And Renji's reply made me lol since it's just so Renji XD

Great job gals~ I think this is one of the few ByaxRen fics that I really enjoyed ^^
Jun. 29th, 2008 07:26 am (UTC)
GOT YOU HARD, huh? HOW VERY NAISU!! Was gonna point this out to you at some point in time (look, Elle, PG-13! fluffy-ish!) But you found it! And you liked it! Yay!

Well, saying that Bya got you hard and that Renji is just so Renji are about the best compliments gals can get. Thank you, thank you for reading and commenting and for the good words. SO very glad you enjoyed. ((we'll make a yaoi girl outta ya, yet. *wink*))
Oct. 15th, 2008 08:27 am (UTC)
*sticks XXX in your g-strings*

This was lovely and IC~ :3
Oct. 16th, 2008 06:53 am (UTC)
Why sankyuu! Had almost forgotten we'd written this. Did you suddenly get a craving for Bya/Ren? And how the heck are you otherwise? Have missed you so much!

Hope all well with you, school, work, and such. Will have to fill you in some STUFF at some point soon. Thank you so very much for reading and commenting on this!!! *just noticed a typo in Bya's dream that will need to be fixed*

Big love for Ryoko~

(no subject) - ryokoful - Oct. 16th, 2008 07:46 am (UTC) - Expand
( 32 got lapdances — stick some $$$ in our g-strings )
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